Be Brave

In the wake of September 11, I had to find new reserves of courage.  Many family members and my soon to be husband worked in buildings that were on lists of potential targets for terrorist attacks.  I taught in a school that literally was in the shadow of the George Washington Bridge, another possible target.  Even worse, my intended had just sold a project that required him flying to Ohio for a few days every week.  This was hard to reconcile with the images of the hijacked planes drilling through the towers.  Yet, I had to somehow find the courage within me to send John off every week with a kiss and an "I love you.  Have a nice uneventful flight."

In the wake of the shootings last Friday, I need to find new reserves of courage again. 

I have to find the courage to send my children off to school.

Monday morning was tough.  I pulled up to the front of the drop off lane.  The aide opened the car door.  Alice unfastended her seatbeat and stepped out.  Her "Bye Mom" and my usual, "Have a great day.  I love you" filled the air.  The car door shut- the unsaid signal for me to drive away so another car could take my place.  I drove away and burst into tears the second I turned out of the school's driveway.  My heart litterally ached for all the parents who lost their children on Friday not long after doing what I just did.

And then on Tuesday night, Alice said something that reinforced why I needed to be brave.

Tuesday was one of those hustle and bustle days filled with school, play, homework, and a party.  The Girl Scouts in our town threw a holiday party for all the Daisy troops.  The girls were told to come wearing their holiday finery.  There were mulitple stations with different crafts.  There were tons of delicious looking snacks.  There was music and singing.  I dropped Alice off and did some errands until the party was over.  As we walked to the car, Alice buzzed with excitment and joy.  "Mommy," she said, "I had the BEST DAY EVER !"  I smiled and listened to her extol about the wonders of her day- the practicing for her school's holiday sing, playing with her friends after school, the party she just attended...the list went on. 

I listened, all the while smiling at her joy.  Later that night, after bedtime kisses, I realized that this is why I had to find courage to let her go out into the, oftentimes, scary world.  Yes, like many of us, I did contemplate finding an isolated corner of the world and hiding out after Friday's news.  I saw on Facebook several people considering homeschooling.  However, when you think about it, the "BEST DAYS EVER" do not happen in isolation.  They happen in places like malls, movie theaters, high schools, colleges, and elementary schools.  They happen because we are out in the world with our friends and loved ones.  Although I had made an unspoken promise to protect my children when they were first placed in my arms, I also vowed to give them the opportunity to have as many "BEST DAYS EVER" as possible. 

I know this is not going to be easy; but, if I have learned anything from my parenting experiences so far, nothing about being a parent is easy.  I just have to follow the immortal advice: "Keep Calm and Carry On" and add another piece to it: "Be Brave."