Oh Crap!

I thought my days of taking mental notes about poop were over.  Just last week this assumption was validated.  During my 13 year old's annual physical, the pediatrician asked about her bowel movements.  I happily turned that question over to the authority on that subject- my daughter.

It was such a nice feeling.

Yeah, I typed "was".

Enter stage left Claire, the pug.  Cue God laughing.

Since moving to the South, Claire has experienced moments of uncontrollable stink bombs.  Not long after moving, Claire baptized the house and it made baptism by fire seem preferable.  A trip to the vet, some anti-poop medicine along with antibiotics, and all was well.

Unfortunately, Claire's digestive system took on the ebb and flow of the tides.  Things would be fine for weeks and then a shitstorm would stir up again.  It got to the point that her farts sent feelings of impending doom straight through me.  FYI- pugs are flatulent little beasts, so I had doomsday anticipation often.  

Like any good parent, I have been keeping record of these said occurrences hoping to figure out any pattern.  Today it was back to the vet with data, pug and a Ziploc bag of said stink bombs. (Side note- Ziploc's plastic and seal really do deserve that Good Housekeeping seal of approval for keeping everything, including smell, contained).  

Thankfully, Claire's issue is pretty normal.  Just like humans, animals can upset the balance in their digestive system and experience an overgrowth of bacteria.  While explaining this, the vet watched my pug doing her best imitation of an excited greased pig spinning around the room.  "Mrs. Barile," she continued, "We do find that dogs with highly excitable personalities tend to experience this this upset more often."  I had to bite the inside of my check to keep from laughing.  As we discussed changes to her diet and adding a probiotic, I could not help thinking:

The vet just insinuated that my dog has a shitty personality. (This is in the literal sense of course; Claire is a sweet and benign soul. I just like the many layers of word meaning.  They amuse me).

My other weird thought happened after I had to sign for Claire's anti-diarrhea medication.  It is a controlled substance and I couldn't help but wonder why constipation is a sought after high.  It has been several hours post appointment and I still can't figure it out.  Maybe the aftermath of Claire crap has killed off some of my brain cells.