What are designers thinking?

This weekend I have to attend a wedding. Normally, I would have gotten a dress weeks ago, but since I am pregnant I decided to wait on the purchase. When I was preggo with Alice I bloomed (or exploded, your pick) in my last trimester. It KILLED me to have to go up a pregnancy size. Thus, I waited until the last possible second to secure my attire for the wedding.

John was on vacation last week, so it was the perfect time to head to my favorite local maternity store. He could distract Alice while I tried on clothing. Surprisingly, Alice fell asleep in the car and remained so in John’s arms while I shopped. As an added bonus, John got a small taste of pregnancy. Because he sat for a quite a while with Alice sprawled on top of him, he found he couldn’t get out of the chair when it was time to leave because of Alice’s position and weight. Being the supportive spouse that I am, I cracked up when I saw his predicament and told him, “Welcome to my world.”

Although I normally hate to shop, it was such a nice retail experience. Because it was a few days before Easter, there was a large selection of dresses to explore. I grabbed a handful and headed to the changing room. With each dress I put on, the laughter within me welled. Each dress looked sillier than the next on me. Now, let me say straight out, I am in no way ashamed of my pregnant figure. Age and the perspective of a second pregnancy has put my head on straight in that way. That being said, what are designers thinking regarding the amount of Lycra they put into these dresses? I seriously looked like I had a torpedo or a watermelon under my dress. Additionally, the pulling in the stomach area caused the dress to pull around the butt area rather tautly. Even when I am not pregnant , I typically never have a “good butt day”, so you can imagine how I perceive my rear when I am pregnant. It was so ridiculous that I had to laugh.

So, all you fashion designers out there, take heed: during pregnancy a woman should not have to worry about panty lines. I know pregnancy thongs exist but so do nuclear weapons. Using either is not a good choice for society.